Days like these are hard to come by. Even though I am surrounded by family, I feel alone.
B tells me his director is sympathetic and will approve the move to Boise. I can only think of the sadness of losing another part of me. It is hard to lose the teacher part of me. But I must be strong for the children. Because by resenting my decision to stay home, the children are affected by a mom who is less sympathetic, emotionally unavailable, and affects the entire home ambience.
I've made a decision. I decided I would stay home with the kids. Must make peace with this decision. It is literally eating me from the inside. Being a guest teacher in Chinese camp, brought back old feelings of resentment because being "Ms.Wan" makes me feel important, valued, and contributing member of society. This is a process that i am currently trying to get through….
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